Discordian Stakeholders

Friday, March 18, 2011

Murder

Cromwell Ignorant of Fatal Effects of Business Operations

Murder
In reaction to the peaceful kidnapping of a Cromwell employee to protest the environmental devastation in the area, Cromwell hired the Discordia Army to search for the kidnapped person. According to Verdant Future, the army then murdered 90 innocent women and children. When a Cromwell executive was asked about this incident they replied, “This is the first we’ve heard of the severity of the incident.” A member of the Central Discordia Unity League believes it’s in Cromwell’s best interest to work with the CDUL to make amends for these actions.

Toxic Waste Spread
According to Verdant Future, toxic materials were recently seen running out of the Cromwell facility into the Gangor River. Cromwell has provided inadequate levels of compensation for the village’s contaminated food and water. When a Cromwell executive was asked about this incident they replied, “This is the first we’ve heard of the incident.”

If Cromwell is unaware of the death of 90 innocent people and toxic waste spread, one must wonder if Cromwell will ever successfully operate in Discordia.

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